Today's challenge was to:
Write five nondescript sentences. Look at them again and re-write them to show and not tell what was happening. Go over them one last time and pump them full of interesting and descriptive words to really drive your point home!
SO here goes...
1a. I went grocery shopping today.
b. Today was stock up day at the grocery store, meats, veggies, fruits, bread, etc.
c. The freezer is full, the pantry is overflowing, the fridge is well stocked, ...the wallet is empty!
2a. I need to fold the laundry.
b. I have FOUR loads of laundry to fold.
c. Mounds of clean laundry are getting all wrinkly and overtaking my living room.
3a. My little girls played a game together.
b. I caught my girls playing with one of their brother's games, without fighting over pieces.
c. In a rare moment of sweet togetherness, my 5YO and 4YO "played" a game of Battleship without any outbursts.
4a. I love coffee.
b. I enjoy drinking a hot cup of coffee every morning.
c. My Keurig coffee brewer delivers me with a cup of warmth, peace, and rejuvenation every day!
5a. I like to make handmade cards.
b. I get great satisfaction out of creating handmade notecards.
c. When it's been days, or weeks since I have sat at my craft table, I start to itch and get antsy and unable to focus on anything else, other than the ideas for new cards flowing through my head.
and a bonus...
6a. I'm going to be late for car line
b. Oh no, it's 2:30 and I should be in the car on my way to pick up the kids, but instead I am creating nondescript sentences and then reworking them.
c. Aaackk, look at the time! I still have to get shoes and coats on my preschoolers and get out the door... I got so engrossed in creating and rewriting sentences for #betterwriter that I lost track of the time! ...I showed up 5 minutes late to discover that school was running late too! What a relief!
So writers... give it to me straight... compliments, complaints, criticisms??!?!?!
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Great job! And an overachiever, no less. Love the bonus. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh, and I pinkpuffyheart my Keurig. Seriously.
Oh my word! I love the progression through your sentences. I could totally see the laundry in your living room (especially because it looks like mine) and smell your coffee!
ReplyDeleteWell done!
Kristina
Great job. You ARE a writer!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I thought was that I would reverse your #2 sentence. Mounds of clean laundry are overtaking my living room and getting all wrinkly. I think the reason is because I find the wrinkly is a result of overtaking the living room. But I am not certain. It just followed a natural progression for me to do the living room first and the wrinkly second.
ReplyDeleteGood job! I especially like your description of coffee. :)
ReplyDeleteThose turned out SO great! (And I knew you were a writer BEFORE this challenge...you do SO well, Julie!) But it never hurts to practice. You crack me up with your bonus "sentence"...I'm laughing so hard right now (because I can see you in my mind perfectly!)!
ReplyDeleteGood work! I've never seen this kind of writing practice before - I might steal it to use later :)
ReplyDelete