Exactly 4 weeks from today, I will be doing something TOTALLY new to me. And that means it is totally unknown. And I'm not a fan of the unknown... but I am super excited about this opportunity! I am attending Allume, going to a conference on blogging and writing. Going to a place I have never been before. Being surrounded by hundreds of women (and a few men) I have never met. Spending 3 days with them, attending sessions, workshops, meetups... and I am scared to death...
Afraid that no one will talk to me
Afraid that I won't have anyone to sit with (I know, totally Jr. High fears, but I still have them)
That I won't recognize people from their blog/twitter avatar ... or WORSE, that they won't recognize me.
That I won't be able to remember any body's real name.
I won't know what to say.
I'll pack too many clothes... or not enough
I'll spend too much money
I'll gain 10 lbs from Nutella, S'mores, Chocolate and a host of other great snack foods.
I'll covet someone else's clothes, shoes, jewelry, business cards, bags... etc.
I won't be able to process, or remember any thing I hear throughout the weekend (too much goodness in one place)
What if I don't get to meet everyone I want to... so many awesome twitter friends are gonna be there!
That I won't be able to actually do Five Minute Friday in 5 minutes... I like to think over the prompt for a while before I start typing! :)
That God will tell me to stop blogging, that there is more important stuff to be done.
That I'll miss my family too much ... or NOT AT ALL.
I won't be able to choose which workshops to attend.
And what about the WiFi at the hotel?!?! Is it any good? Is it reliable? because I do not have a smartphone and my iPad will be my only means of connecting with all my twitter friends that I really want to meet!!
That I'll get sick and miss it all!
I'll get cranky from lack of sleep
That I will cry when it is all over...
Allume attendees, (newbie or veterans) What are YOUR fears?
and Do you have any advice for any of my fears?
Come back next Thursday to find out what my roommates should know about me...and the next week for what I'm looking forward to most...
Oh my word! I have lots of those same fears! lol...I'm excited for a "live" 5 minute friday...that's so neat :) The first (and only) time I participated, I was a stickler and was so disappointed. I felt really vulnerable because I have never really done that kind of writing before...and then the next morning I found out that a lot of people get the word the night before and think about it and type the next day, or that they don't follow the 5 minute rule...so I felt completely exposed, like I posted really crappy writing unnecessarily because most others were much more polished.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I printed out the agenda today to start trying to think about which workshops I want to attend :) lol I think a part of me, too, is scared that God will say stop blogging...Great list and thanks for sharing so openly :)
Oh, I will sit with you and talk to you and annoy you and you will wish I would just. Go. Away! And I will not have covet worry business cards or intimidatingly perfect hair. I will gladly eat some of your Nutella so you don't gain all those pounds. It will be amazing. I'm really bad at names sometimes, too. :)
ReplyDeleteI totally talked to people by their Twitter handle instead of their name at first, it's ok! Once you are there, you'll start having so much fun, you will truly forget these things...but know that almost every other woman is feeling them too, even veterans.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you in Jr. High Fearland. :) And I'd love to sit with you!
ReplyDeleteMe, too! I'll sit with you! Why do we women have these fears? I don't think men think like this at all.
ReplyDeleteI think that we all have some big surprises coming. Like how REAL we all are. And how it doesn't matter how much you know- I mean if we knew everything, would we be going to this conference? Yep, you're not alone! I have a beautiful advantage of knowing Amy Tilson, but I promise you that she means all that she said above. And she is the BEST at knowing who people are. So you are all set! :)
ReplyDeleteI feel like I could've written that!! I'm just the same and I hope to meet you!
ReplyDeleteI feel Ya! We all probably won't be able to tell ppl from anatar, oops been calling it gravatar, haha! I hope to be able to... if you don't remember ppl's names, just call them their blog name... no one will mind, I wouldn't!
ReplyDeleteWe will all feel insecure/not good enough at some point, isn't that true with life but remember you are a child of God and those down thoughts are just the enemy trying to get you down on yourself! (I have to remind myself not to get caught up in those lies too!)
I hope to meet you Julie Anne! We can tell eachother "it will all be alright lol!"
You are so no alone Julie Anne. I know I have just about same list of fears running through my head. And you were brave enough to write them! I feel comfort from your post, reading your thoughts from your heart and reading others comments that we ALL are coming in with something. It's normal. We all are normal and we can be feeling normal and scared together. I hope we get to meet in the crazy, intense 3 days somehow!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad someone else has these fears! I'm a total conference newbie, and though I will be rooming with a couple girls that I know, I'm such an introvert. I have to force myself to greet people and start conversations. I'd rather be behind the screen than in front. But I know I will learn so much and I hope to develop lasting friendships.
ReplyDeleteJulie Anne! I hope I get to meet you at Allume! I am so excited, this will be my first time too. At the moment I'm not too fearful of anything... mostly just excited. I definitely wont know people or recognize many faces, but I'm accepting that because I'm new to all of this and I can't be expected to.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I'll be nervous and worrying about things the days just before. Thinking about driving down from Rochester - actually - yep, there's my fear. Driving down to PA from western NY and there being a snowstorm or something! Ok - yep. There it is. That's what I'm fearing the most. But God ordained this trip for me, and I'm just going to trust in him to get me there (and back) safely.
Thanks for being bold enough to acknowledge your fears - isn't that the first step in overcoming them? God Bless, sister!
I grew up in Buffalo! I totally get the snowstorm fear for the end of October! Praying for safety, so that I get to meet you!! :)
DeleteOk, I'm not the only one who is having second thoughts. Joleneybean, there shouldn't be a snowstorm in October. Well, we did have a major one last year at the end of October, but that was extremely unusual. And it melted quickly. And the roads are very well plowed in North Central PA. I'll be driving from the Williamsport area, but I drive through New York to Toronto every so often and did it once in a blizzard. That is not nearly as scary as meeting a bazillion new people all at once. Like the first day of school when your first name starts with a Z (do not ask....well, it's very popular to have a Z name now.) I might tell at Allume.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm gonna make you tell... looking forward to hearing more about your Z name! :)
DeleteI'll tell anyone who asks my Z name. I will be able to tell your approximate age by your response. It will be Ewwww, poor thing or Awesome, I want your name. You will be able to tell my age by my extreme willingness to sell it, if it was possible.
DeleteI'm looking forward to meeting everyone--one person at a time, please!
And now that I read more about last year's Allume/Relevant conference, it dawns on me that my blizzard and theirs was one and the same. Thumping my head on that one.
Crazy how junior high scars us! I have those thoughts, too. The worst part is that I know better. I know the community at Allume is warm and welcoming, but there are times that I still think that I couldn't make it at the popular girls table. But, like others have said, I know that God has orchestrated the way for me to be there. I know great things are in store for all of us!
ReplyDeleteI get the whole popular girls table fears... but I am soo looking forward to my table filled with the girls that have encouraged me so in this space right here! :) Great things are in store! can't wait!
DeleteYou hit the nail on the head...many things to concern us but I'm trying to remember that it's just going to be a good time with like-minded folks and that means AWESOME!
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