Five Minute Friday: Crowd

Well, I wrote this on Friday... but some how it didn't make it from my notebook to my screen until now. So here is a little Five Minute Friday, on Tuesday...


Crowd:


This was supposed to be the year of quiet. But sometimes it's hard to be quiet and experience quiet with the crowd that's hanging out in my head.

Yes, I'm willing to admit that I have voices in my head--lots of them and they are all saying a milllion different things. Does that make me crazy? Are you going to send me to the funny farm now?

(Ps: I miss my chickens, so maybe that wouldn't be so bad... )

There aren't always this many voices in my head. The number ebbs and flows. But this week, it's been a crowd, a full-blown, unwanted crowd. I was going to let you inside my head and share a few of the conversations I've been hearing lately, but I decided it was crowded enough--NO Vacancy!

If anything, I need a bouncer, someone to kick all the crazies out of my head, so it's just me and my thoughts and God.

I also know that God's Word is the perfect bouncer to all the crazies crowding in my head, but I just didn't feel like it (and yes, I whined while I wrote that).

It's a daily battle trying to clear out the crowd... and today, I just didn't have the strength to fight through the crowd ... maybe tomorrow.

STOP

ps. It's been a while since I've blogged or even written at all. I'm having a hard time finding my voice in the mess of it all, so don't think that this blog post means I'm coming back full force. In face, I"m contemplating a break (an official break) from blogging. Maybe a week, maybe a month, maybe a year, maybe forever...

So if you need something to read, go visit all of the other brave writers at Lisa-Jo's place as they write on "crowd."


And now it's Tuesday, and a weekend with friends, fellowship, worship, rest and yes, God's Word has helped my perspective a bit. The voices are quieter today... but still there and sure to get loud again. It's also amazing what a little bit of writing does to help process through the crowd. So I'll blog when it strikes and I will try to write even when I don't hit publish because I think that writing is still what I want to do, even when I don't "feel" like it.

Dear Weary Mom

Dear Weary Mom,

When you can't figure out which end is up, when the laundry is piling up... and the washing machine keeps overflowing in the spin cycle. When your to-do list is so long you are afraid to actually write it down, so you keep forgetting things... KNOW that He knows which end is up and He will never forget you.

When you get tired of lugging your 5YO around when she's tired from using crutches and it's like potty training all over again because she needs help to go. When you are tired of the "I'm bored, mommy" and you are afraid of what all this extra TV and iPad time is going to do to her, KNOW that this is a season... hopefully only a 3 week season before the cast comes off.

When you are so overwhelmed with things at home and planning for the summer vacations, that you don't even want to take the opportunity to get away for a weekend of Ladies' Conference... KNOW that you should go any way and God will renew you (at least that's what I'm hoping)!

When you feel like your God-Sized Dream totally got sidelined and you are starting from scratch, KNOW that God is still working in you and dreaming is a process!

And when you want to write and blog, but the words just won't come... KNOW that it's okay to take a blogging break, even if it's indefinitely (will you all be here when I come back? ...if I come back?)

From one weary mom to another (or maybe just to herself),
Blessings on your day and weekend,

Julie

Community Conversation: What has you feeling weary today? maybe I could pray for you!  Have you ever had a child in a cast... unable to get wet in the summer time?  Suggestions????  

taking a little bloggy break, thinking for the month of June, but we will see!

preparing for fast

If you follow this blog much, you know that I mention Allume occasionally! But you see, it's not JUST a blogging conference (that's actually called Allume Social... and I still really, really want to go {anybody wanna pay my way?!?!}).  It's also a community of like minded women who are oh, so welcoming and oh, so encouraging!

And I read the blog most days... It's got a lot of great stuff. Last week, one of the contributors shared about her plan for a 21 day fast.  And she encouraged us to join her...

And it struck a cord with me and I've been thinking about it and dwelling on it a lot over the last week (is that the same as praying?!?!).

At first, I was thinking about a fast from obsessing over stats and comments on my blog... and then I thought maybe I should fast from blogging altogether for 21 days... but then I thought, "What about Five Minute Friday, and Project 52, and the JoyDare and, and, and..." And I just didn't know what to do... and not many of my "in real life" friends get this blogging thing I do, or even understand the community I find in blogging (although I'm sure a few of them read my blog and never comment), So I didn't even know where to go to ask for advice...

Then, when I read into it a little further, I read this...
"Simply stated, biblical fasting is refraining from food for a spiritual purpose."

and I'm all about following the rules...

However,
in the first 3 weekends of June I have...

• my son's birthday
• a Ladies' conference (which is known for GREAT food)
• and my nephew's high school graduation and subsequent grad party!
• (and when I don't eat... I get cranky, plain and simple, and very unpleasant to be around)

all this to say, that it's almost June 1 and I'm still not sure what I'm doing! But I want to be purposeful and I want it to be beneficial and I want God to bring Dry Bones to LIFE again!!

• I do know that I will be taking a bloggy break for the 21 days. (promise me you will come back after this?!)
• I do know that I have 2 things specifically that I will be praying about, for God to show me what the next step is...
• I do know that I will be doing a partial fast... I read and like the idea of the hours of 6AM to 3PM for a partial fast. (not from all food, but definitely something)
• I do know that I'm a little scared... and afraid of failing!

...Pray for me, would you?