Not giving up, not giving in

The last time I "failed" at write31days, I did not write again for six whole months! I will not let this happen again. I figure if I can write 10 times a month that is better than nothing, so I will keep writing and hopefully even keep blogging. So here I am jumping back in with Day 9.

Yesterday, I had a flashback to junior high. Okay, maybe not junior high, more like Junior Speech class. In my continuing education effort, I had a group presentation. Ya know where you actually have to be up in front of a classroom and talking and sounding intelligent. Public speaking is NOT my gift. I am 1000% positive that God has not called me to public speaking (I will take this moment to say that I am not saying this will never change, but for now in this season of my life, in the living out of my personality, there is no room for public speaking).

Anyway, back to my flashback predicament. I woke up that morning with some crazy dreams in my mind, ya know the ones where you have experienced the day's events over and over and they DO NOT go according to plan.  Like when you dream that a piano has suddenly appeared in the classroom and is blocking your view from the fellow students. Or the secret service show up and pull out the ONE person you can count on to help with the interaction time. It was crazy

So I wake up and my stomach is in knots and part two of my flashback is settling my stomach with cinnamon toast because it's the only thing I can get down and I wasn't even sure that was going to be enough. Seriously, the nerves I had were causing a little bit of dry heaves as I was getting ready.

To top it off I was having a bad hair day and it was raining. Like I said, JUNIOR HIGH all over again!

It is so frustrating to me that even though I am almost old, and I have some life experience under my belt, that getting up in front of a classroom and attempting to speak about a topic or a poet or a literary critic (Matthew Arnold if you must know) still terrifies me.

Also, little tidbit about Arnold. He has some good quotes... Like this one that makes me think maybe I should pursue writing poetry instead of prose and essays.

In a way, it does remind me that I don't have it all together (don't worry, that really wasn't something I thought to begin with). And it reminds me that God gives us things to stretch us and grow us, and make us depend on Him and His strength.

Also, the presentation went by without a hitch. I don’t know what kind of grade we got and there was no raving that it was the best one, but we got it done and nobody choked or completely lost their place. It is a good reminder to me that I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to present like someone else. And I don’t have to love it. I just have to be willing and do my best.

My thoughts today: Stretching myself is good, although I would much rather stretch myself with writing exercises then public speaking. What stretches you?

Join me as I remember what it means to be a writer again. Writing for 31 days in an attempt to find where nature and art collide in the work of writing. Click the graphic to find all my #write31days posts.

Five Minute Friday: Trust

Today, I went to a mom’s group in my area. We are studying the Psalms this year, all about praying under pressure. Just wanted to share a little bit of what I learned today!

 “But I have trusted in Thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.” 

Psalm 13:5-6

It’s easy to trust God when things are going well, and life is flowing smoothly, and you are getting along with all the people in your life, but do you still trust Him when life gets a little uncomfortable?

It has been well documented that David’s prayers tell it like it is. He does not hold back on his feelings when he talks to God about life’s situations. He comes boldly before the throne of God and petitions Him regularly.

However, it is important to remember that he doesn’t stop there. The Psalms of David always come back to the truth that God is good and He can be trusted.

When your friend turns against you.

When your enemy is working hard to trip you up and cause you to fall.

When you lose your job.

When your kid gets sick.

When the money runs out before the month does.

When it seems like your hopes and dreams will never come to pass.

God is still good. God is still trustworthy. You can choose to trust Him and rejoice in His rescue plan, even when you don’t know what it is. This is possible because we know God’s track record. He has dealt bountifully with His people in the past and He will continue to do so in the future.

God can be trusted.

David gives us a model of prayer when we just want to complain.  

1. Get it off your chest—You can complain, tell God exactly how you feel.

2. Ask for your request—Ask Him to hear you, tell Him what you want.

3. Choose to give thanks—Make a choice to rejoice anyway. Take confidence in His lovingkindness.

Trust God with your cares and worries.

Joining in with the ladies of Five Minute Friday today with the prompt: Trust

Join me as I remember what it means to be a writer again. Writing for 31 days in an attempt to find where nature and art collide in the work of writing. Click the graphic to find all my #write31days posts.

Nicely Handled

It's a short one today... Just getting in by the skin of my teeth before I head to bed. Today is one of those days when I'm getting down even if it's bad as I search for the good.

Some days it just doesn’t seem possible, this commitment to writing. There are days when I just want to give up. Quit writing, quit school, quit blogging. But just about the time that I am ready to give up, I get a little encouragement or a little reminder that I am a writer and writing is possible…

Writing is possible.

Today the encouragement came in a graded paper. It’s a funny story, ya know. How my high school English teacher is now my University literature professor, twenty years later. I have always loved her, I am always thankful for the opportunities I’ve had to learn from her. But I’ve also been a little (okay, a lot) intimidated by her. I always want to get the best grades possible.

So when my paper is returned with a B+ and the words, “Nicely handled. You write well.” You kinda wanna do a little dance and get off the couch and type another blogpost.

Just when I think that writing is not possible, I’m reminded that it is, I just have to work on it. And maybe next time the paper will be an “A.” 

Join me as I remember what it means to be a writer again. Writing for 31 days in an attempt to find where nature and art collide in the work of writing. Click the graphic to find all my #write31days posts.

My Dwelling Place

Home—what is home to you?

My home is the wide-open spaces with a gorgeous view, spectacular sunrises, plenty of wildlife, and right now, the colorful leaves of autumn. The cornfields will soon be harvested and the leaves will fall, and the view will expand to the city in the valley and the ski slopes in the distance. I think that the view is my favorite part of our current home.

Five years, I have been enjoying this space that isn’t really “mine.” We have been given a gift, a stewardship of a house and property. I thank God for this home every day. I do not take it for granted. It is not pinterest pretty or magazine ready, but it’s comfortable and I like comfortable. It is also a far cry from the 2-bedroom trailer we were crowded in.

It is home.

But while reading my Bible this morning, I was reminded of another home—not my future home in heaven, but a home I have right here, right now…

The Lord is my dwelling place. (Psalm 90:1)

The secret place of the most High is my dwelling place. (Psalm 91:1)

Yes, it is true that God the Holy Spirit lives in me (I Cor 6:19), but it is also true that I dwell in Him (John 15:4).

Home is where I am abiding in Christ, where I am dwelling with God and meditating on Him daily. It involves allowing God into the daily of my life. I feel most at home when I let God in, too.

When things get hectic, and tense, and a little unpleasant around here, when I start complaining and griping, when my focus becomes what I don’t have or what I am missing out on, then I know I need to check myself, to refocus and renew my mind, to give thanks and to tuck myself back into the hands of the One who holds me and carries me.

God is my home. And I am thankful for the blessings He loads me with daily.

Join me as I remember what it means to be a writer again. Writing for 31 days in an attempt to find where nature and art collide in the work of writing. Click the graphic to find all my #write31days posts.

Writing about writing

So I wrote something today for #write31days, but I don't like it all, so I'm pulling something out of my journal and dusting it off. More writing about writing...


How many times can you write about writing before it gets to be ridiculous? Really what I should be writing about is discipline, because if I had self-discipline maybe this writing dream wouldn't be so hard. 

I almost called it the task of writing because somewhere along the way the dream died and it became a task. But it's still a dream too. Although I have no big dreams of publishing a book, I would love to write essays that connect with others, that helps others know they are not alone. To write words that encourage, inspire, and maybe even exhort a little.

And yes, I want to write words that point others to Jesus.

I know all the right things in my head. I know that it takes actually writing to make a writer. But knowing is not enough. The next step is applying what I know, actually doing!

Maybe this would be more possible if I was disciplined--in eating right, in exercising, in making wise choices, in time spent with God, in creating, in writing.

When you work on discipline in one area of your life, it often spills over in to other areas, I just don't know which discipline to start with...

So today, I write about writing again --tomorrow, who knows?

My thoughts today: Is writing about writing a good way to find my writing voice? Do you have any topics for me to write about?

Join me as I remember what it means to be a writer again. Writing for 31 days in an attempt to find where nature and art collide in the work of writing. Click the graphic to find all my #write31days posts.